Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
A young man wished to marry the farmer's beautiful daughter. He went to the farmer to ask his permission.
The farmer looked at him and said, "Son, go stand out in that field. I'm going to release three bulls, one at a time. If you can catch the tail of any one of the three bulls, you can marry my daughter."
The young man stood in the field awaiting the first bull. The barn door opened and out came the biggest, meanest looking bull he had ever seen. He decided that one of the next bulls had to be a better choice than this one, so he ran over to the side and let the bull pass through.
The barn door opened again. Unbelievable He had never seen anything so big and fierce in his life. It stood pawing the ground, it eyed him. Whatever the next bull was like, it had to be a better choice than this one he thought. He ran to the fence and let the bull pass through.
The door opened a third time. A smile came across his face. This was the weakest bull he had ever seen. This one was his bull, he said to himself. As the bull came running by, he positioned himself just right and jumped at just the exact moment. He threw his hands to grab..... But alas..... The bull had no tail.
Moral : Life is full of opportunities. Always grab the first one..
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent
"Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage..."
- Ambrose Bierce
For will in us is overruled by fate.
When two are stripped, long ere the course begin,
We wish that one should love, the other win;
And one especially do we affect
Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:
The reason no man knows; let it suffice
What we behold is censured by our eyes.
Where both deliberate, the love is slight:
Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?
Saturday, May 1, 2010
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students
The teacher asked,”Boy. what is your problem?”
Boy. answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade! .My sister is in
the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal’s office.
While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Princi! pal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, “I think Boy can go to the third-grade.”
Ms Neelam says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?” The principal and Boy. both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment “Legs.”
M! s Nee lam: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,
oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And
sticky? The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could
stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting
down and a dog does on three legs? The principal’s ey! es open
really wide and before he could stop the answer…
Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re
bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was
looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get it u have to use ur hand.
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
“Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions